I feel so grey today, drab and lifeless and I just want to vanish. Vanish, but without pain because my intent is not harm but rather relief. I want to start floating and continue floating high above all the sorrow I have ever felt for whatever cause because it just hurts all the same. I want to talk with the universe because the universe won’t bother trying to help me, help, in case you haven’t already guessed, isn’t what I need. I want to be held, and I’ll do so by laying idly in the clouds with not a worry nor sound in sight. Can I do so for a while? I have the right don’t I? I have the right to at least a trial of lighthearted happiness. I deserve at least that much don’t I? Just a taste and I’ll go back just promise me a taste.
Ahhh why can’t I find a way to tell you how sad I am without having to appeal to aesthetics. I have nothing beautiful to tell you I’m just plainly sad.
DO GOOD AND FEAR NOTHING BUT GOD.
Listen to the sound of the key composing the music of the unlocking, the unveiling. I’m free. I want to be the beauty, inside and out. I want to be the one people turn to when they want the truth, I want to tell it like it is. I want to be eloquent, expressive and lighthearted. I want my love for art to seep out of my every pore. I want my clothes to embody this, my makeup, my style, my music, my ideas. I wish to create. I want to sing, my God I want to sing. I want to achieve. I want to be fit, I want health mental and physical health. I want to ease my tensions and rid myself of them altogether. I want to work hard, at everything I try my hand at. I believe that there is one principle which we all live by. One common principle that guides us in everything we do. A simple set of rules or maybe just one rule. This summer I’ll set out to find it. I want to love myself more than anybody will ever love me. I want my individualism to exceed my society. I want to know, words and their meanings, concepts, news. I want to be bold in everything I do, I want to be indispensable. I want to fear nothing but God. I want to explore the power of words. I promise to write everyday. I don’t want to lose this potential, I don’t want to lock it away again because I don’t know how long I’m going to be blocked. I think I found the key though, it was underneath jealousy, the self loathing and the timidity that consumed me and, my interior evidently. Summer, dear girl, come quick our dance begins soon.
Why is everything always about how men observe us? Men will observe you in the real world as well. A picture, if it’s not nude nor immodest, is just that, a picture. Why do we take pictures at all? Why do we share things with people at all? It’s conventional, we share our experiences with others, not for the sake of making ourselves look better, which is a whole other topic, but just to share. This type of sharing just happens to occur in a visual medium and so then attraction is the issue? Attraction is also human nature, if you’re begging for attention by dressing provocatively then that’s a different story, but if somebody is attracted to you and you’re doing nothing to call for this attraction, especially as a muslim woman wherein you’re dressed modestly, then why is that your fault? We are muslim yes but we are also human and interaction is part of human nature. The post said something about us putting up only nice pictures, well does that mean I can put up a picture that I don’t personally find flattering? What if somebody else finds it flattering? Is that still wrong? I think this whole sheltering movement is what makes muslim woman look so oppressed. We are women, we are muslim, and we are also functional members of society. “Man by nature is a social animal” we will do what it takes to function and be accepted by the society that precedes the individual. WE ARE HUMAN.
com·pla·cent: cocky or conceited with head stuck in ass enjoying the smell of thy own shit
1. Be the girl with the laugh.
Have the ugly laugh or the loud laugh or the laugh that bubbles over your lips and travels towards those around you. Have the laugh that fills a room or the laugh that separates a crowd or the laugh that can only be heard in a quiet booth in the back of a cute café. Be the girl with the laugh that the boy will die to hear. Be the girl with the laugh that the boys will die to be the source of. Be the girl who’s happy.
2. Be the girl with the eyes.
Have the blue eyes or the big eyes or the squinty eyes. Have the kind of eyes that bunch up in the corners the way they claim is unattractive, all because you’re smiling so hard. Be the girl with the eyes that people will…
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