You see my problem is I’m not easy going, I don’t get over things easily nor do I get over them quickly. I worry a lot and I want that to change. I want to stop clouding my mind because, I’ve come to realize, that is why I don’t enjoy what I used to enjoy. Take reading; I can’t sit down and immerse myself in anything without something probing the back of my mind, the front the sides. I’m not able to easily clear my mind and this troubles me. I’ve become less motivated, my memory retention isn’t great, and I find it hard to learn and I mean really learn. I’m always busy worrying about other things in fear that I’m going to forget to address them. I don’t know how I’m going to get over this but I know that I’ll start by working through my constant urge to overwhelm myself. Yes, we’ll start there and how you may ask? I’m going to make a list, every day in the morning, of the things I want to address, the things I want to take care of, the things I want to do in the day. With making that list, I’ll also vow to not let anything else bother me. Writing is the cure, it always will be.

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I did something really daring which I’m scared and excited about. I purposely didn’t take any classes with my friends so I could make new ones. I need to learn to be okay surrounded by people I don’t know, I need to learn to find comfort wherever I go. This will be good inshAllah.